The Homeschoolers, The Ballad of Squirtina by Henry Circle – Book Blitz

The Homeschoolers, The Ballad of Squirtina by Henry Circle – Book Blitz

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“Life is too big to squeeze into a weekend.” That’s what “half-heathen”  public school misfit, Christina Begoni, learns after a bout of Spanish  class diarrhea has her escaping into the arms of a holy-rolling  homeschool group. With her mustachioed, evil genius brother and cute  redneck bully in tow, Christina joins innocent homeschoolers, Sunny and  David on a hilarious and often gripping adventure on the Mississippi  River. Experience the thrill and romance of the never-ending weekend  with The Homeschoolers.


When I get back to the stand, Sunny says, “You were gone awhile. Did you get lost?”

  “I squirted myself!” I announce, quite abruptly.

“When? Just now?” Sunny asks with concern.

 David chimes in, “Oh no. You must have stopped at the tamale stand. I  could have told you that was going to happen. If you need, I’ve got some  Pepto back in the truck.”

 “Oh, no. Not right now,” I explain. “Something reminded me of a past  incident. I was getting picked on at school because back around  Christmas holidays I got really sick. The embarrassing part is that I  diarrhea squirted in my freakin’ pants, right in the classroom, in front  of everyone!” I’m hysterical with laughter. I have to admit, even though  it was the worst thing that has happened to me thus far in life, it’s  still hilarious when you hear it said aloud. Kip is still lying on the  ground, with his back turned to us, pretending to sleep, but his body is  quaking with silent laughter. Sunny and David are stone-faced.

Sunny looks especially puzzled. “I don’t see how that’s funny. You got  sick, and then your peers taunted you about it. That is not very nice.”

“That’s what I’m thinking,” David says. “It’s like someone saying, ‘Ha. Ha. You have Hodgkin’s Lymphoma’. I don’t get it.”

“Oh, no. It is funny, but bless you both for thinking otherwise,” I  say, pulling David and Sunny to my sides and kissing them both on the  cheek. I’ve shared my shameful secret, escaped the hands of my nemesis,  and have garnered two allies in Sunny and David. There’s nothing Ricky  Kelly could do to bring me down now.

Author Bio:Author Pic homeschooler

Henry Circle is a Mississippi native, a freelance writer, a sometime  hermit and a most-times loud mouth. She attended homeschool for one  glorious year.

Henry is the daughter of actor, John Turturro, a winner of the  prestigious Caldecott Medal and former Las Vegas showgirl. None of which  is true.

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  1. Fun excerpt! Definitely geared for the younger crowd:)

  2. Thanks so much for sharing my excerpt today. That makes me beyond happy! You definitely rock. And Maria, I would say it was cool for younger teens to read, but 2 people told me it has some controversial elements.. So be warned! But you nailed it with ‘fun.” You have no idea! I’m loving this blog, by the way. So full of spirit!

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